We left Buea early this morning to start our journey to Lewoh. What I didn’t realize was that we were stopping at Hotpec orphanage. My heart started beating faster as we turned the corner and I instantly became nervous.
This is the orphanage where I first saw her. She was scraping rice from the bottom of a bowl while sitting on the floor in a barn. I picked her up that day and carried her away in my heart for every day since.
As soon as we arrived, all of the kids came running. I was completely distracted searching the group for her beautiful face. Just when I thought she wasn’t there, I found her sitting on the step. She was just taking it all in, watching us from a distance.
I was a bit taken back as I thought she would have run up to me as soon as she saw me. I guess I’d created some sort of relationship in my head. Perhaps I need her more than she needs me…
I walked over and sat down beside her as the other children sang the Cameroonian anthem. Their voices echoed through the air like a choir of angels, but I was too distracted to really hear them. I was trying to create a moment with this girl, similar to the one I thought we’d shared last December.
After repeatedly trying to connect with her, and failing, it suddenly hit me: standing before me were 30 children and if I looked close enough, all of them had her eyes – haunted, damaged, heartbreaking eyes.
Bringing her over to Canada isn’t the right thing. I kissed her on the cheek, made a silent promise to improve her world in other ways, and got up to spend time with the other children who also needed me.
An hour passed and as I was walking back to the van, having learned a valuable lesson of the heart, a little hand slipped into mine.
Her name is Docas.
Hello Treana,
I know that all the children there needs you and your support. From my point of view you should take Docas home to give her a better life.
Favorite one child doesn’t say you would forget about the other children there.
Listen to your heart talk it over with Ryan and do the right thing for Docas.
Regards,
Jeanette
WOW! What an incredible start to your journey! I love following you and the work that you do. I anxiously await each new entry. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with all of us!! Be safe in your journey:)
The sweetness of the last two lines had me in tears. These lessons you are learning so quickly and well strengthen your determination to do all you can and, through these writings, strengthen our determination to help you and the foundation. Keep your heart up and always, always open.XXXX “Her name is Docas” – her name is now stamped on all of our hearts and will represent all the children you reach out to. Keep on keeping on.
Beautiful entry Treana.
I was with the Canadian group that was in Cameroon in November, but left the week before you and Ryan arrived. Sorry to have missed you. Perhaps we will meet in the future.
I am thrilled that you are blogging from Cameroon as my heart is definitely there, but unfortunately I could not go this time around.
Please tell Ed, Margaret and Jeff hello and we are thinking ICA thoughts in Canada. Also hello to Martin, David, Anastasia, Pat and other Lewoh friends.
Treana,
I typically don’t respond anywhere to anything I follow but I feel compelled to tell you how I admire your realization that taking this beautiful little girl out of her environment (sad as it is) and taking her home may not be the right thing for her. That doesn’t mean it won’t EVER be right, but it’s not now. It’s takes as much or more courage to realize that than to simply swoop her up and take her into your home…Kudos to you and the group you are working with!
Joan
Treana, I think I remember you saying that you weren’t a writer. I think you’ve found a creative, passionate, truthful way in creating reality for those who aren’t with you. Good job~!!
One of the hardest, painful and rewarding realities for me was realizing that the children and people who I work with don’t need me as much as I need them. And letting go of the fantasies that I’ve created in my head of what their life would be like if only they HAD all of me all of the time! I guess that’s where my grandiousity kicks in.
Thanks for sharing a little bit of your heart with the world and letting people get to know who you are in a humanitarian and spiritual way! Christina
OMG! What a wonderful mother’s day gift for you!! Reading this brought tears to my eyes, and what a learning experience for us all. We think that is the first solution to fix the problem but you are right to think it out and find that real fix has to start at the source of the problem to make it work for everyone in the end!!
Thank you for doing all you do and passing the knowledge you gain on the way. God bless you and everyone with you and keep you safe. I will be following along everyday(I look forward to it)it is so inspiring to read the hope that shines through!! You have the greatest way of writing it for us!!
This actually happened at Hotpec Orphanage… St. Valentine’s is an orphanage for boys only! The children at Hotpec are absolutely beautiful though, and it is the kind of place that is so difficult to leave because you just want to take the children home with you! The children at Hotpec are so cute and they will call you “auntie” or “uncle” to indicate that they see you as a member of their family. It breaks your heart in a warm sort of way.
That really pulled at my heart strings. Just keep the love in your heart for her and all of them. At least she came to you and held your hand before you had to leave. She does love you. All of them do. Keep doing what you are doing for them and they will never forget you.
Trena, the trip has just began and already re making me cry! Wish I could be there with you Elizabeth
Kristen – thank you for catching that – I’ll change it now…
xoxoxo thanks for the updates, it is almost like being there, well, except for the giant cockroaches…hugs to docas!!
Treana your report of the day at Hotpec orphanage is very beautiful.
We relive your emotions!!!
You’re right,bring Docas over to Canada it’s not a solution. Take her away from her land, her culture and bring her into a completely different world…
The best thing is to try to make her world better!!!
Your entry found me brushing warm tears off my face at work this morning…. I am so humbled and grateful that Canada’s greatest national treasure is amongst the children of Cameroon during a time that we here celebrate Mothers. For a mother is a woman who brings comfort to a child, instills hope in their heart, and holds their hand on their journey to a better tomorrow. Docas knew her small hand belonged in yours. Leah xoxoxox